Two haikus from late at night after a B&S Ball near Dubbo, NSW
Their utes all had the big RM Williams Longhorn stickers on the back and matching Bundaberg Rum bar towels laid out underneath their windscreens.
1.
Huddled ‘round for warmth
Dave dared the boys to dare him
To do something loose
2.
With a spatula,
They scraped Dave’s damaged penis,
Off the barbeque
A guy called Henry - the case study video editor guy at a Sydney agency I worked at years ago - told me this story years ago. He wasn’t the guy who ruined his penis but he was there, apparently. I can’t remember if he told me the story to show off how mad his mates were, or with genuine horror or (most likely) somewhere in between.
PS - Henry was what you could politely call a ‘concrete cowboy’ - young men from cities who (with varying levels of inauthenticity) adopt the style of a jackaroo dressed in his town clothes: RM Williams boots, bootcut jeans, striped Oxford cloth button down tucked in at the front with the back hanging out. Huge old faded rugby jersey over the top. Drizabone in the wet. Akubra with cattle tags attached. Bundy Rum paraphenalia everywhere. Big fucken antennas coming off your ute for some reason. A swag in the back for sleeping. When I was younger, I would laugh at this sort of behaviour… But now I get kinda get it, man.